Do you ever wake up in the morning with a feeling like you have missed something, slept in, forgotten something or just have a serious case of anxiety?
Well, this morning I did, and it was a horrible feeling! It was no way to start the day, that is for sure.
I felt like I was late for something or was going to be in trouble for something.
The weird thing was that there was nothing of the sort. I was still up before my alarm clock and I had packed and organized myself for the day, the night before.
I lay there for a couple of minutes to try to calm down, but it was not working! I tried deep breathing, I tried relaxing my muscles, I tried positive self talk, I repeated a calming mantra. It wasn't until I got up and started moving that the feeling started to dissipate.
What did I ultimately learn from this situation? That not everything that happens has a clear and distinct reason that led to it happening. And the things that one might think will work to counteract or diminish its effects do not always work.
So what then?
Well, from my personal experience - just getting going on SOMETHING, ANYTHING, usually works.
When I get uptight or anxious about a project, or a deadline, or a daunting task that is coming up in my future, the one and only thing that always seems to calm me down, is just to get going and work towards it.
If I have a deadline and don't even know where to start - I just have to start somewhere. Even the wrong plan of action will get me closer to the right one.
Surely this has happened to all of us, where we feel anxious about a looming commitment or an upcoming event. The best way to dissipate the feelings of unease is to either work towards the ultimate goal with actual tangible work (ie start the introduction of a paper that is due next week) or if it does not require immediate action (such as a date you are nervous for) begin to imagine what it will be like to be there and how wonderfully calm you will be during.
Our minds do not know the difference between imagined and reality - if we can visualize it in our minds eye, it is as good as true. So if you are worried about something that you have no control over in the immediate time (such as a job interview or a date you are finding out your test results) imagine that it is that time, and that you are there in that situation, and start to create in your mind what you want the outcome to be. Obviously you cannot control the outcome always, but perhaps you can learn to react in a better way when that time comes.
For example, imagine yourself in that interview, feeling calm, relaxed, confident and smiling. Imagine the interviewer making you feel at ease and thinking you are perfect for the job. Even if that is not the case at the actual time, you cannot necessarily do anything about their reactions to you, all you can control is you. So imagine who you want to be, how that will look, and how that will feel.
So next time you feel that anxious feeling - just get going. Either take immediate action towards getting to your destination, or simply imagine and visualize the outcome the way you want it. Both will work.
In the meantime - don't fret!
Have a great day,
Namaste
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
unplug to recharge
How do you recharge yourself when you are out of fuel?
This questions can be answered in many ways, but I want you to think about it for just a minute.
Many of our electronics these days require us to plug them in to recharge them, and then they are back in use for us when we need them.
How do we take care of this task for our own selves?
Often times we will run ourselves into the ground, work non stop or constantly multi-task. These activities do not come without consequence though.
Burnout, apathy, illness, chronic fatigue, among many other things, are what we start to perceive as normal day to day feelings.
They aren't.
You should first ensure that you are getting adequate sleep. Which on average means 7-8 hours of sleep in a dark room. Lights can affect quality of sleep.
Setting a schedule of regular sleep and wake times that you stick to daily (even on weekends!) makes a big difference to your energy levels and quality of sleep as well.
But sleep is just one part. What about the other 16-17 hours of your day that you are not sleeping, but still dragging yourself around?
Well, the first thing to do is stop trying to give yourself artificial energy via sugary snacks, energy drinks or coffee. Those end up giving you a crash worse than you felt before you consumed them. Try water. Likely your cells are crying for a little hydration.
Try this for another positive change - UNplug to recharge yourself.
Unlike our electronics that get charged through the electrical outlets, we require the opposite.
Turn off your computer for 5 minutes or turn off your cellphone for 10 minutes. Do not answer phone calls for an hour a day, or take out your headphones while you are walking to and from places. Maybe turn off your car stereo and revel in the silence for a while. Turn off the TV and just breathe.
Sometimes we think that distracting ourselves with technology takes our minds off of other things and that can recharge us, but it is simply not the case.
If you can shut down all those distractions and just focus on your breathing, maybe repeat a mantra over and over for 5 minutes (such as "I am completely relaxed and feel my energy levels rising").
You might just surprise yourself with the differences you feel.
We are humans, not electronic devices. Our charges come from within.
Do it today. Just 5 minutes.
Maybe start with just one minute.
Have a great day,
Namaste
This questions can be answered in many ways, but I want you to think about it for just a minute.
Many of our electronics these days require us to plug them in to recharge them, and then they are back in use for us when we need them.
How do we take care of this task for our own selves?
Often times we will run ourselves into the ground, work non stop or constantly multi-task. These activities do not come without consequence though.
Burnout, apathy, illness, chronic fatigue, among many other things, are what we start to perceive as normal day to day feelings.
They aren't.
You should first ensure that you are getting adequate sleep. Which on average means 7-8 hours of sleep in a dark room. Lights can affect quality of sleep.
Setting a schedule of regular sleep and wake times that you stick to daily (even on weekends!) makes a big difference to your energy levels and quality of sleep as well.
But sleep is just one part. What about the other 16-17 hours of your day that you are not sleeping, but still dragging yourself around?
Well, the first thing to do is stop trying to give yourself artificial energy via sugary snacks, energy drinks or coffee. Those end up giving you a crash worse than you felt before you consumed them. Try water. Likely your cells are crying for a little hydration.
Try this for another positive change - UNplug to recharge yourself.
Unlike our electronics that get charged through the electrical outlets, we require the opposite.
Turn off your computer for 5 minutes or turn off your cellphone for 10 minutes. Do not answer phone calls for an hour a day, or take out your headphones while you are walking to and from places. Maybe turn off your car stereo and revel in the silence for a while. Turn off the TV and just breathe.
Sometimes we think that distracting ourselves with technology takes our minds off of other things and that can recharge us, but it is simply not the case.
If you can shut down all those distractions and just focus on your breathing, maybe repeat a mantra over and over for 5 minutes (such as "I am completely relaxed and feel my energy levels rising").
You might just surprise yourself with the differences you feel.
We are humans, not electronic devices. Our charges come from within.
Do it today. Just 5 minutes.
Maybe start with just one minute.
Have a great day,
Namaste
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
what you fear, you must eventually face
What are you afraid of?
What is it that you ruminate about all day in your head? Is it not being successful enough? Not having a family? Not making enough money? Not finding love? Are you afraid of death?
All of these fears can be very real - and the interesting thing is that our minds cannot differentiate our thoughts from reality.
If we are thinking about our fears all day long, our bodies react to those fears as though they are real. This can explain the number of stress related illnesses that our society faces today. In addition to that, we let our imaginations run wild, and we spend hours a day thinking about things that have never happened and will never happen. That is the irony about the way most of us live our lives - through fear....real or imagined. The difference doesn't even matter.
The truth is that all of the things we fear - we must eventually face, to get over them. If you fear that you will get ill, then in our minds, we have to face that - and decide then what we will do with it. We can imagine how it will feel to be ill, or bankrupt, or have a loved one pass away - and when we confront that fear -we know that it has no basis in reality, it is just imagined....it may in fact happen, or it may never happen - but is that reason to live in a constant state of fear? Absolutely not!
One of the big fears and stresses that people have right now are related to finances, that is to be sure. Another one is the fear of ill health or death. But it seems almost too easy when you think about it...that just facing it will just fix it.
No, it won't be fixed over night....but I often times see people complain about their fear of debt and spend money frivolously. Or complain that they feel fat, or unhealthy, and then just continue in the same ways that got them to that state to begin with. Do things get better? Nope, just worse.
Seth Godin is a best selling author, entrepreneur and agent of change. He writes a fabulous blog and is very influential in today's online world.
Godin says this: "Why not shine a light on the holes we're digging today as opposed to the canyons we'll have to deal with years from now?"
Why I like this is because there is so much truth to what we do unknowingly. We shy away from our fears and ignore them, perhaps procrastinate and hope things just go away - and we know that they don't - but sometimes we are willing to die trying. Why ignore something that you fear, when if you face it, you can accept it and move on?
Dr. Wayne Dyer says this: "Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed."
We must stop fearing things in our lives - this fear is paralyzing. That question of "what if?" is immobilizing. Facing fears, and realizing that what goes on in your mind becomes your reality - you can be set free and begin to enjoy the life you are living each day. Because today and the moment you are in, is the only thing that you have control over.
Separate yourself from your fears - understand that they are just that...and break away.
Live life today.
Have a great day!
Namaste.
What is it that you ruminate about all day in your head? Is it not being successful enough? Not having a family? Not making enough money? Not finding love? Are you afraid of death?
All of these fears can be very real - and the interesting thing is that our minds cannot differentiate our thoughts from reality.
If we are thinking about our fears all day long, our bodies react to those fears as though they are real. This can explain the number of stress related illnesses that our society faces today. In addition to that, we let our imaginations run wild, and we spend hours a day thinking about things that have never happened and will never happen. That is the irony about the way most of us live our lives - through fear....real or imagined. The difference doesn't even matter.
The truth is that all of the things we fear - we must eventually face, to get over them. If you fear that you will get ill, then in our minds, we have to face that - and decide then what we will do with it. We can imagine how it will feel to be ill, or bankrupt, or have a loved one pass away - and when we confront that fear -we know that it has no basis in reality, it is just imagined....it may in fact happen, or it may never happen - but is that reason to live in a constant state of fear? Absolutely not!
One of the big fears and stresses that people have right now are related to finances, that is to be sure. Another one is the fear of ill health or death. But it seems almost too easy when you think about it...that just facing it will just fix it.
No, it won't be fixed over night....but I often times see people complain about their fear of debt and spend money frivolously. Or complain that they feel fat, or unhealthy, and then just continue in the same ways that got them to that state to begin with. Do things get better? Nope, just worse.
Seth Godin is a best selling author, entrepreneur and agent of change. He writes a fabulous blog and is very influential in today's online world.
Godin says this: "Why not shine a light on the holes we're digging today as opposed to the canyons we'll have to deal with years from now?"
Why I like this is because there is so much truth to what we do unknowingly. We shy away from our fears and ignore them, perhaps procrastinate and hope things just go away - and we know that they don't - but sometimes we are willing to die trying. Why ignore something that you fear, when if you face it, you can accept it and move on?
Dr. Wayne Dyer says this: "Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed."
We must stop fearing things in our lives - this fear is paralyzing. That question of "what if?" is immobilizing. Facing fears, and realizing that what goes on in your mind becomes your reality - you can be set free and begin to enjoy the life you are living each day. Because today and the moment you are in, is the only thing that you have control over.
Separate yourself from your fears - understand that they are just that...and break away.
Live life today.
Have a great day!
Namaste.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
where to begin?
Have you ever wanted to make a change to something in your life?
Have you thought..."hmm, i could be better at this", or "i should have done that", or "i need to do or change this?"
I think that is the beginning of realizing and living the kaizen philosophy. The desire for constant improvement. I believe we all have a need for embracing constant improvement - and those who see the need younger - achieve younger - and those who don't see it until later in life - hit a few more stumbling blocks along the way. However, these are the steps we go through in the quest to self-actualization.
But what is self-actualization? Well, yes it is Maslow's highest tier on the hierarchy to achieving one's needs. But what does it mean for us in the here and now?
It means - what we do all day counts. Those little moments throughout each day that you live count, and it is the mindsest you have in those moments that counts the most. They all add up to the little changes.
You might be thinking, "So that may be all well and good" - and you might identify that you want to make an improvement to some aspect of your life, for yourself.
But then you ask, "Where do i even begin?" That list seems too long, or that dream too big, and the day to day of it gets in the way. We say to ourselves...maybe we can't achieve what we want. Why do we do this to ourselves? Well, according to David Wood - a brilliant speaker on the matters of the mind - it is because there is an 'imposter' in our heads. A voice inside us that floods us with self-doubt. That voice that shoots us down and puts our dreams to rest.
Ekhart Tolle, spiritual teacher, says that your body responds to thought as if it were reality. It doesn't know the difference between a thought and our reality, so we must control the thoughts we let into our space.
Lousie Hay, an amazing speaker, author and elder of excellence, says this; if you change your thoughts - and replace the mind's redundant thinking - with positive love-filled thoughts - then you will change your life - and the entire course of your life will take new form before your eyes. Dr. Wayne Dyer points to this same idea in his book, "Change your thoughts, change your life" based on Lao Tzu's teaching in the Tao te ching.
I truly believe this to be true - and implement it into my personal practice daily. Does it always work - each moment of each day - absolutely not. Ask anyone who spends time with me! But what it does do, is remind me that I am constantly improving - and enjoying every step of the way. My life is filled more often now in the direction of positivity, abundance, happiness and love (for others and by others). You attract what you give out. As the great Ghandi says, Be the change you want to see in the world.
So...Are you still asking, "where to begin?" My answer for you is this; start by looking within. Look deep within and begin there, go inside, and listen to the silence between the thoughts. What is your body telling you? What is your mind telling you?
Do it today.
Have a great day - Namaste!
Have you thought..."hmm, i could be better at this", or "i should have done that", or "i need to do or change this?"
I think that is the beginning of realizing and living the kaizen philosophy. The desire for constant improvement. I believe we all have a need for embracing constant improvement - and those who see the need younger - achieve younger - and those who don't see it until later in life - hit a few more stumbling blocks along the way. However, these are the steps we go through in the quest to self-actualization.
But what is self-actualization? Well, yes it is Maslow's highest tier on the hierarchy to achieving one's needs. But what does it mean for us in the here and now?
It means - what we do all day counts. Those little moments throughout each day that you live count, and it is the mindsest you have in those moments that counts the most. They all add up to the little changes.
You might be thinking, "So that may be all well and good" - and you might identify that you want to make an improvement to some aspect of your life, for yourself.
But then you ask, "Where do i even begin?" That list seems too long, or that dream too big, and the day to day of it gets in the way. We say to ourselves...maybe we can't achieve what we want. Why do we do this to ourselves? Well, according to David Wood - a brilliant speaker on the matters of the mind - it is because there is an 'imposter' in our heads. A voice inside us that floods us with self-doubt. That voice that shoots us down and puts our dreams to rest.
Ekhart Tolle, spiritual teacher, says that your body responds to thought as if it were reality. It doesn't know the difference between a thought and our reality, so we must control the thoughts we let into our space.
Lousie Hay, an amazing speaker, author and elder of excellence, says this; if you change your thoughts - and replace the mind's redundant thinking - with positive love-filled thoughts - then you will change your life - and the entire course of your life will take new form before your eyes. Dr. Wayne Dyer points to this same idea in his book, "Change your thoughts, change your life" based on Lao Tzu's teaching in the Tao te ching.
I truly believe this to be true - and implement it into my personal practice daily. Does it always work - each moment of each day - absolutely not. Ask anyone who spends time with me! But what it does do, is remind me that I am constantly improving - and enjoying every step of the way. My life is filled more often now in the direction of positivity, abundance, happiness and love (for others and by others). You attract what you give out. As the great Ghandi says, Be the change you want to see in the world.
So...Are you still asking, "where to begin?" My answer for you is this; start by looking within. Look deep within and begin there, go inside, and listen to the silence between the thoughts. What is your body telling you? What is your mind telling you?
Do it today.
Have a great day - Namaste!
Monday, February 16, 2009
be a beacon of love
Hi!
In the wake of Valentine's day, I wanted to shed some light on the concept of LOVE. I am very much a fan of the fact that there is a day that is dedicated to the expression of love to those around you. Although, this year, my fiancee was away for business and we did not spend the time together, it still makes me smile, knowing there is a day where people make an extra effort to show their love.
Gift giving, card giving and treating one's loved one can get quite out of control - but the real question is - do you give love and share love with those you love all year around? If not, why?
Do you let the craziness of life lead you astray? Do you get caught up in your to-do's for the day or your job, or kids, or organizing or cleaning or taking care of others or whatever you do to fill your time, get in the way of truly expressing your love and gratitude?
How can you show your love to those around you more of the time?
Well - for one you can take a moment to tell someone you love them each day. Once you can do it each day once - and truly mean it - then you can up it to twice, then three times, then more.
Now, I wouldn't suggest just saying "I love you" to someone 45 times a day as it can lose it's impact - 3, 4, 10 times maybe, but when you get really good at giving an honest "I love you" that many times, it is a chance to become more creative.
How about doing nice things for other people? Or taking a minute to think about what it would be like to be in their shoes? Or what about calling someone to tell them you are thinking of them, and miss them. What about telling someone something it is that you love about them, "Chris, it makes me smile to know that you work so hard and are so dedicated to your job."
So today - and the rest of the days this year - remember what the day of love was meant to represent and decide that you will be a beacon of love to those around you all year long!
Enjoy!
Have a great day,
Namaste
In the wake of Valentine's day, I wanted to shed some light on the concept of LOVE. I am very much a fan of the fact that there is a day that is dedicated to the expression of love to those around you. Although, this year, my fiancee was away for business and we did not spend the time together, it still makes me smile, knowing there is a day where people make an extra effort to show their love.
Gift giving, card giving and treating one's loved one can get quite out of control - but the real question is - do you give love and share love with those you love all year around? If not, why?
Do you let the craziness of life lead you astray? Do you get caught up in your to-do's for the day or your job, or kids, or organizing or cleaning or taking care of others or whatever you do to fill your time, get in the way of truly expressing your love and gratitude?
How can you show your love to those around you more of the time?
Well - for one you can take a moment to tell someone you love them each day. Once you can do it each day once - and truly mean it - then you can up it to twice, then three times, then more.
Now, I wouldn't suggest just saying "I love you" to someone 45 times a day as it can lose it's impact - 3, 4, 10 times maybe, but when you get really good at giving an honest "I love you" that many times, it is a chance to become more creative.
How about doing nice things for other people? Or taking a minute to think about what it would be like to be in their shoes? Or what about calling someone to tell them you are thinking of them, and miss them. What about telling someone something it is that you love about them, "Chris, it makes me smile to know that you work so hard and are so dedicated to your job."
So today - and the rest of the days this year - remember what the day of love was meant to represent and decide that you will be a beacon of love to those around you all year long!
Enjoy!
Have a great day,
Namaste
Monday, February 2, 2009
what is your ideal?
Hey!
How are you this fine day!?
Today as I have been going from one thing to another, I found myself in conversation with someone talking about their feeling of overwhelm and feeling like there are never enough hours in the day to get done what they might want.
We were talking about balancing sleep, with commitments and deadlines, as well as with responsibilities such as to family, or loved ones.
Although I am usually quite calm, no matter how much I need to get done, I found myself getting wound up and anxious just talking about the potential stress that ensues when one doesn't have enough hours in the day.
The truth was, that it wasn't the many tasks and doings that was what I was hearing as the anxiety causing aspect - but the guilty feeling associated with not getting enough done, feeling like one can never catch up to the unending to-do list -and constantly feeling inadequate because it is so easy to feel way behind all of the time.
The main question I asked of this person was this....what is your ideal day? How many tasks or jobs or emails or assignments equals a day well spend or a job well done? Does that guilty feeling ever go away or is that ideal just a mythical ideal that really has no basis in the reality of what you are going through?
I feel that this is quite a common issue with many people is the feeling that they are always behind and no matter what they do, they still don't get it all done.
Well, the hard part of this is that this stress in your life really may never go away - but the good news is that your reaction to the stress or your feelings of self-loathing that are associated are optional. You do not need to react in a high strung way and if you just take a moment to breathe, realize that you are only human after all, and you cannot be everything to everyone, no matter how hard you try.
Take a second to ask yourself WHY? you are doing all this anyway? What is it that is most important to YOU? Often times we get so caught up in the day to day - we don't even realize that a lot of what we do is not even moving us closer to the end result we are looking for - it is merely causing idle meandering in the same spot.
What tasks - and prioritize them! are the most important to get done? Lay that out and if you don't get it all done, there is always tomorrrow.
Zen Habits - a fabulous blog by Leo Babauta is a great one to constantly remind you of simplifying your life and really making the most out of what you can do here with your time.
Do something nice for yourself today and check it out!
http://zenhabits.net/
Have a great day!
Namaste
How are you this fine day!?
Today as I have been going from one thing to another, I found myself in conversation with someone talking about their feeling of overwhelm and feeling like there are never enough hours in the day to get done what they might want.
We were talking about balancing sleep, with commitments and deadlines, as well as with responsibilities such as to family, or loved ones.
Although I am usually quite calm, no matter how much I need to get done, I found myself getting wound up and anxious just talking about the potential stress that ensues when one doesn't have enough hours in the day.
The truth was, that it wasn't the many tasks and doings that was what I was hearing as the anxiety causing aspect - but the guilty feeling associated with not getting enough done, feeling like one can never catch up to the unending to-do list -and constantly feeling inadequate because it is so easy to feel way behind all of the time.
The main question I asked of this person was this....what is your ideal day? How many tasks or jobs or emails or assignments equals a day well spend or a job well done? Does that guilty feeling ever go away or is that ideal just a mythical ideal that really has no basis in the reality of what you are going through?
I feel that this is quite a common issue with many people is the feeling that they are always behind and no matter what they do, they still don't get it all done.
Well, the hard part of this is that this stress in your life really may never go away - but the good news is that your reaction to the stress or your feelings of self-loathing that are associated are optional. You do not need to react in a high strung way and if you just take a moment to breathe, realize that you are only human after all, and you cannot be everything to everyone, no matter how hard you try.
Take a second to ask yourself WHY? you are doing all this anyway? What is it that is most important to YOU? Often times we get so caught up in the day to day - we don't even realize that a lot of what we do is not even moving us closer to the end result we are looking for - it is merely causing idle meandering in the same spot.
What tasks - and prioritize them! are the most important to get done? Lay that out and if you don't get it all done, there is always tomorrrow.
Zen Habits - a fabulous blog by Leo Babauta is a great one to constantly remind you of simplifying your life and really making the most out of what you can do here with your time.
Do something nice for yourself today and check it out!
http://zenhabits.net/
Have a great day!
Namaste
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
take care of number one
Have you ever said to yourself - 'I am too busy to worry about what I really want?' or 'i will get to taking care of myself later, people need me'
If that sounds familiar - I urge you to reconsider.
Too many people put others before themselves - and as much as I will agree that on the surface this may seem like the noble thing to do, when it comes down to it, however, it is just plain dense.
How can you be good to others if you are not good to yourself? How can you help others if you cannot help yourself? How can you lead others or love others or trust others - if you cannot or do not do the same for yourself?
I am not saying to become selfish and ignore the needs of your loved ones or colleagues, but I really encourage you to think about taking better care of yourself - and I know for most of us, there is always room for improvement in that regard.
Can you put better food choices into your body? Can you take a few more minutes each day to calm and relax your mind? Can you make the decision to exercise more on a regular basis? Can you break a bad habit and replace it with a better one?
I am guessing that there is probably some part of your self-care that gets pushed aside, and today I want you to think about what that is, and what you are going to do about it. When you make yourself a priority, you will start to find that others respect that and will treat you accordingly.
If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?
Namaste,
Jen
If that sounds familiar - I urge you to reconsider.
Too many people put others before themselves - and as much as I will agree that on the surface this may seem like the noble thing to do, when it comes down to it, however, it is just plain dense.
How can you be good to others if you are not good to yourself? How can you help others if you cannot help yourself? How can you lead others or love others or trust others - if you cannot or do not do the same for yourself?
I am not saying to become selfish and ignore the needs of your loved ones or colleagues, but I really encourage you to think about taking better care of yourself - and I know for most of us, there is always room for improvement in that regard.
Can you put better food choices into your body? Can you take a few more minutes each day to calm and relax your mind? Can you make the decision to exercise more on a regular basis? Can you break a bad habit and replace it with a better one?
I am guessing that there is probably some part of your self-care that gets pushed aside, and today I want you to think about what that is, and what you are going to do about it. When you make yourself a priority, you will start to find that others respect that and will treat you accordingly.
If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?
Namaste,
Jen
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